Whether it’s a frigid Tuesday morning or a popping Saturday night, we all have those certain “people” we just can’t help but to run into. Sometimes it feels like fate and sometimes it feels like God’s smiting you for that crazy night you had last weekend, but either way it happens. Hey, at least it’s something we can all laugh about with our friends while waiting in the Starbucks line. But anyway, here is a list of the 10 People You’ll Always Run Into at Penn State University.
Your Best Friend
So what if you look like an idiot passing them in the Hub and frantically waving and cheesing to get their attention? You actually like seeing them, and it makes your day 10x better. Everyone can relate to seeing the person you tell all your secrets to on the daily. Just remember, look who’s around before you briefly start complaining about your lab partner in the most populated building on campus.
The Willard Preacher
You literally cannot avoid this man. He has been here since 1982, rain or shine. Pretty sure you’re REQUIRED to either have a class in Willard or Sackett, in which case you will pass him mid-preach. If you stay to listen to him for more than two minutes though, he’s guaranteed to either enrage or enlighten, with a laugh here and there. In all honesty though, he’s got a point: Natty Light is the devil. His other lectures include: parties, sex, drugs, and of course, God.
Pro-Tip: If you bring him a packaged condom, he will sign it “You’re going to hell” -Willard Preacher
They suck, but in your four years at Penn State, you are more than likely destined to run into someone who used to give you the major feels. Despite the fact that you forgot they existed, a run-in with an ex can be a painful day. Whether or not you’re friendly towards one another or he/she completely played you, try not end up in a yelling match on College Ave with hands balled into fists, or the cops will come. (I’ve witnessed this) Instead, pretend to be in deep conversation with a friend, find the nearest attractive human being and flirt, or maybe try to just be civil and give a quick “hi” and “bye.”
The Hot Cheerleader/Lionnette
If you hover around the Starbucks line, go to the football and basketball games, or even just sit on the giant High School Musical Steps of the Hub, you’re destined to see her. She knows she’s hot and she’s constantly out in public wearing a puffy, navy cheerleader jacket, leggings, Penn State sneakers, with some sort of flavored coffee in hand. If you’re a girl, you want to be her, and if you’re a guy, you sure as hell want to date her. Either way, it’ll make your day better when you run into the hot cheerleader.
Saquon Barkley… and Basically Any Other Football Player
Let’s be honest, Saquon is eye candy, PERIOD. Hit up the Hub at lunch time, and you will undoubtedly see a row of football boys sitting at one of two high tables, conveniently located in the center of the food court area. Throw out your food at the same time as him, and it’s close to as close to a magical Penn State experience as you’ll get in 2017.
Your Professor that You Hated
You would probably take running into your Ex over this professor. He or she either failed to round up that 89.8% or just flat out sucked at teaching. It’s not fun to see this particular person outside of class, but it happens pretty often if you linger around the Hub. At least you can get a deep tingle of satisfaction knowing that they’re eating lunch alone while you’re surrounded by all your friends who didn’t care if you received a C+ in his class. Jokes on them I guess.
Your Freshman Roommate
Love them, hate them, or just found a better friend to live with in the years that followed your Freshman experience, you’re bound to run into them at some point in time. Sometimes it’s nice catching up and reminiscing about how you two used to watch sappy movies together or have pajama dance parties on a Thursday night, but mostly, it’s nice to know that they contributed to who you became as a person during your first year of college.
That Guy You Shut Down Last Weekend
- He might have been creepy, or douchy, or maybe he just came on too strong, but a run-in with him ends up with your hood going up and your voice becoming hushed. If you didn’t have a good experience with him, it’s probably best to quickly find a friend and have them call you by a fake name. If you were just too intoxicated to realize he was cute, I highly recommend “accidentally” bumping into him and saying “HEY! YOU WERE AT THAT PARTY” Note: Proceed with caution, just because he looks normal now, doesn’t mean he wasn’t creepy before.
That Guy You Didn’t Shut Down
That Girl You Follow on Instagram but Don’t Actually Know
Omg, she’s literally everywhere. You may know her as a friend of a friend, or from Insta because she was too perfect not to follow, but she’s just as pretty in person as she is on social media. It’s awkward because you know you both recognize each other, but you’re not on the level to say “hi” yet, so maybe just look down at your cellphone and keep walking to class.