1. Why is teleportation not a thing yet?
It’s 2017, people. The pain of travelling from lower campus to upper campus should be the priority for any engineering PhD student. If Yeezys are a thing, there’s no reason why teleportation machines can’t be.
2. Where can I find the cleanest bathrooms on campus without having to go up nine floors?
Everybody knows that the bathrooms on the library’s ground floor are nasty, never mind having to wait five years for the single cubicle out of five that’s actually working.
3. Will the construction work ever end?
One day you’re walking to your lecture, the next day your favourite route has been fenced off, leaving you to make a 20-minute detour that takes you on a trip to Iceland. Never mind the light rail construction that’s messing up everyone’s sleep schedules and attendance rates.
4. Surely there’s a shortcut that can get me to middle campus without using the Basser Steps or making the slippery slope down University Mall?
I just wanted some decent sandwiches at the Quad, not go on a three-day mountain hike!
5. How am I supposed to go on a diet while studying at UNSW?
With coffee stands, pho eateries and chocolate cafes waiting for you everywhere you turn, it’s a wonder why you see so many hot people on campus at all. Whoops, there goes my weight-loss regime – and my monthly allowance.
6. Why am I being asked to take my exams at a place that holds horseraces?
With UNSW literally having its own postcode, surely the university is big enough to hold exams on campus without the extra stress of travel and finding your way around Randwick Racecourse. Plus, the only food available there within a five-mile radius is from an overpriced petrol station.
7. Is it weird to introduce myself to that hot guy over there in the bus line for the 891?
UNSW students have asked themselves this question at least a million times. But in all honesty, Eddy Avenue is the ideal social venue – you get to meet people of all ages from all faculties, mostly with similar backgrounds, interests and ideals as you. Well, what are you waiting for?
8. Should I feel bad for using the law library?
Asked every non-law student, ever. Answer: No.
9. What will the free food be today?
From the classic society sausage sizzle to apple pie on Pi Day, there’s no question if there will be free food on campus, simply what and where.
10. Am I bothered to change out of pyjamas for uni today?
We’ve all woken up on an off-day where the motivation to dress to impress just isn’t there. Don’t worry, you won’t be judged. Much.