My freshman year at Rutgers is more than halfway over, and I’ve learned quite a few things about what it means to be a Scarlet Knight. Whether it’s dealing with football games, handling school work, surviving parties, or understanding the bus system, there are definitely quite a few things you should literally never do at Rutgers University if you want to make it out okay.

10.) Go out with your guy friends.

Ratio is ridiculous at Rutgers. Unless you’re definite you’ll be getting your guy friends into a party and have tactics to sneak them in (maybe the frat house has a fence they can hop), don’t go out with them or else you’ll end up walking all over campus and then spending the night back at the dorm.

9.) Die in the pre-game.

There’s always at least one person who drinks too much during the pre-game. If you’re that person, I hope you have amazing friends who are willing to be by your side the entire night. Other than that, pace yourself.

8.) Tell yourself if you go to the dage, you’ll stay sober enough for class.

That’s an urban legend people tell themselves so they feel less bad about the inevitable fact that they’re going to skip class…

7.) Run after the bus.

If you’re running after a bus, you’re probably already late. And if you’re probably already late, there probably isn’t another bus coming for 12 minutes so you’re going to be double late now. Just call an Uber at this point or get a coffee and try again tomorrow.

6.) Go to a football game sober.

Losing is already unbearable enough. At least the alcohol numbs the pain.

5.) Trust the weekend buses.

When I have to go to a different campus, I have learned that they are unreliable and will ruin your life. I now try to get rides from my friends with cars or I call an Uber because I do not have the time to wait 43 minutes plus traffic delays to get to my shift that starts in 20 minutes.

4.) Suggest going to Brower for dinner.

Everyone is going to complain the entire time… on the way there, during the dinner, and after they’ll say they have food poisoning and it’s all your fault.

3.) Say you’re from and/or affiliated with Penn State.

Why? Because fuck Penn State, that’s why.

2.) Take too long in the bathroom at a party.

If it takes you longer than 30 seconds to pee, angry girls will knock on the door telling you to hurry up (and some other mean things).

1.) Order food at 4AM. 

The restaurant gets pissed off and will botch your order. You wanted boneless wings? You’re getting regular wings. You wanted a chocolate milkshake? Enjoy a vanilla one instead.

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